Is This What You Want?
by LawOrderSVUaddict
Summary: Ben admitted his feelings to Cooper, but Cooper being Cooper gives him a hard time about. Will Cooper just accept the fact that Ben loves him or will he keep pushing Ben away? One Shot.


"I am hopelessly in love with you & I don't want to hide it anymore." It was those words that John never thought he would have heard, especially not from Ben. It made his heart flutter, his breath catch in his throat and he just felt overall pleasure.

"You don't know what you're saying Sherman," Cooper said, turning away from him trying to control his emotions. Ben grasped his wrist and turned Cooper to face him.

"I love you John. I always have, ever since we first met. I don't know what it'll take for you to believe me, but I am willing to do anything to prove it to you." Cooper shook his head and gently pulled his arm away from Ben.

"You understand what you're doing right?" Cooper asked and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat at the beginning of the conversation. Ben stepped closer, pulling Cooper towards him by his waist.

"I know what I am doing Cooper. I know that I am risking a lot especially if you don't return these feelings, but even if you don't it's not going to falter the way I feel, nothing will." Cooper pulled away and stepped back about a foot, standing at his full height.

"Go home Ben," he said "think about what you're saying. If you still think you feel like this tomorrow then we'll talk, but as for now…" With his final words, Cooper grabbed his bag off the ground and headed towards his car. Throwing the bag into the passenger seat, John pulled the door shut and took a deep breath. He didn't know what he was going to do because he knew Ben wouldn't change his mind or feelings. Ben was just that type of person, Cooper knew that all to well. Starting the car, John pulled out of the parking lot and made his way home all the while thinking about Ben. Cooper knew that Ben was hot for teacher the first day he started training him. It was obvious to him, but Cooper had a lot of practice with that. At first he thought Ben was just being wary with him, but it was obvious the way Ben's gaze lingered on him longer than it should have or the way Ben would blush every time Cooper touched him. The little things just added up and Cooper connected two and two. He thought it was just an innocent little crush, but until tonight he had no idea how strong Ben's feelings for him were. Pulling off his button down, John threw it over the kitchen chair and went for the scotch that sat in his cabinet. He grabbed a glass and poured some in before tipping it back. Just as he was going to pour another glass a knock echoed through the house. Sighing, Cooper made his to the front door, unlocking it and swinging it open.

"I told you to go home," Cooper said as he let Ben step in as he shut and locked the door.

"I don't need time to think about how I feel Coop, I know my feelings towards you." Ben said and stepped closer to him, pushing him up against the door. Cooper grasped Ben's shoulders and softly pushed him away.

"Listen to me Ben," Cooper said and slid past him, going towards the kitchen. Ben hesitantly followed him and closely watched John.

"You may know your feelings for me, but have you thought of the consequences?" It was a lame excuse, Cooper knew that, but it was something to take into consideration. Ben stepped closer to Cooper, closer than needed, but didn't touch him.

"You've _never_ been one to give a shit about consequences." Damn, that's what Cooper knew Ben would say, they've rode in the car to long.

"You might think that, but you don't know this side of me Ben." Cooper didn't know why he was giving Ben such a hard time with this, he liked Ben, but he wasn't sure if he loved him. He didn't want to say it and regret doing so later on, he didn't want to hurt Ben.

"I want to. Cooper, you don't have to say you love me back, I just want a chance with you." Cooper shook his head and poured a cup of scotch before shooting it back. Ben watched him closely and struggled not to lean in and touch him.

"Ben please stop," Cooper replied and looked over at Ben softly. Ben ran a hand through his hair and turned away, frustration finally making its way through his veins.

"Why do you have to make things so difficult Cooper? Why can't you just let me, us, have a chance? Jesus, you make it sound like it's going to be all bad." Ben turned around to face him, his eyes on fire.

"Ben, I know you're frustrated-" Ben gave a humorless chuckle at that and slammed his fist down on the table.

"Yeah, I am frustrated, but I'm hurt and I can't understand why you won't give me a chance. I can't figure out what the hell your thinking, you're sending me fucking mixed signals! I know you feel something John, but what the hell is it? I wouldn't know because you won't let me in!" John watched Sherman pace around, yelling and running his hands through his hair in anger.

"Ben," Cooper began gently as he stepped forward, setting his hands on his shoulders.

"I've already hurt you numerous times and we aren't even in a relationship or anything. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have. I don't want to say I love you and not be able to feel that or show you that. I won't be able to take it if you leave me," Cooper said and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

"Coop," Ben said and tried to not lean in and kiss him. His face looked so vulnerable; he looked like he was in so much emotional pain and conflict. Ben pulled away and began walking towards the front door.

"It was a mistake coming here, I should've gone home," Ben said and ignored Cooper's calls for him to wait. Just as he opened the door, a hand came up and slammed it shut. Ben went to protest when he was grabbed, turned around and pinned against the door. Cooper was close enough that Ben could feel his breath hit his face. Ben went to say something when Cooper's lips found his, hungry, rough and overall aggressive. Ben tried to move, but Cooper had him pinned against the wall, his knee in between his thighs, his forearms pinning his shoulders and his hands gripping Ben's wrist above his head. Cooper's lips were bruising against Ben's, nipping, sucking and pulling against them. A low growl echoed from Cooper's throat making Ben buck his hips trying to get friction, something to relieve the aching hard on that was pressing against his zipper.

"Calm down there," Ben heard Cooper whisper as his lips migrated to his jaw and neck. A frustrated groan fell from Ben's lips as Cooper sucked on the junction between his shoulder and neck. All he wanted was some release, but he knew he wasn't going to get that, not tonight anyway.

"_Fuck_," Ben hissed and bucked his hips against Cooper's thigh. Ben never knew how _fucking good_ Cooper's mouth would feel teasing his hot skin. He had thought about, thought of how amazing John would feel pressing against him and _shit_ he felt even better than expected.

"Is this what you wanted?" Cooper growled as he nipped Ben's neck hoping to leave dark marks. Ben let a low moan rumble through his chest in response as he wriggled beneath Cooper. John bucked his hips against Ben's, pressing his raging hard on into his hip. Ben growled loudly in protest because he couldn't use his hands. Cooper grinned and pulled away, looking into Ben's dilated eyes.

"You should go," Cooper said and Ben gave him a sharp look, a very sharp and pissed off look.

"I hate you," Ben growled in annoyance as Cooper released his hands and backed off slightly.

"That's not what you said two hours ago," Cooper retorted and watched Ben closely as he straightened out his shirt.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Ben asked and turned around, unlocking the door. Cooper came over and walked Ben out into the hot night.

"Yeah," Ben nodded at Cooper's reply and began walking towards his car. He turned around quickly and made his way up to Cooper. Before Cooper could ask what he was doing, Ben grabbed his jaw and brought his lips up to his. Cooper pulled Ben closer, lacing his fingers through his belt loops.

"Mine," Ben growled and pulled away, looking Cooper in the eyes. Cooper nodded and bit his lip, trying to control his breathing.

"Night Coop," Ben replied and made his way back to his car.

"Be careful," Cooper replied as Ben started his car, pulling out of the driveway. Cooper knew immediately that Ben Sherman was going to be the death of him.

_end_


End file.
